Thank you for your interest in Wendy Oleson. Please scan the listing below for relevant information about Wendy.
If you are Wendy’s Father, see number one.
If you are Aimee Bender, see number two.
If you are Reading to Confirm You’re More Accomplished than Wendy, see number three.
If you are Wendy’s Former Teacher, see number four.
If you are Wendy’s Student, see number five.
If you are Looking for a Conventional Bio, see number six.
If you are Shannon, Leslie, or Lindsay Calderone, see number seven.
If you are Old Enough to Enjoy Cocktails Legally and Responsibly, see number eight.
If you are Even Still Reading, see number nine.
1. No, Dad, the Pulitzer committee still hasn’t called. (Is that really what happens? They call? I assumed the news would come to my front door in the form of a giant cardboard check. Did you know I was born on the same day as Ed McMahan?)
3. It’s no contest! You, dear sir or madam, have won at life, but I have the world’s most adorable dog (far and away my greatest achievement). Follow him on Instagram: gr8winstoni.
4. THANK YOU. I loved school, likely loved you, and certainly hoped you loved me. If you didn’t love me, know that sometimes I still feel sad about that. I wonder, How could I have won the heart of Mrs. Marsha Beaman? Is it too late or strange to send chocolates?
6. Wendy has a PhD in English with a creative writing emphasis from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, an MFA in fiction from Oregon State University, and a BA in English and French from Amherst College. Her prose and poetry have been nominated for several Pushcart prizes and appear in The Journal, PANK, Midwestern Gothic, Baltimore Review, Copper Nickel, The MacGuffin, SmokeLong Quarterly: The Best of the First Ten Years, and elsewhere. She won Washington Square Review’s 2013 Fiction Award and placed second in Carve Magazine’s 2014 Raymond Carver Short Story Contest. An excerpt of her middle grade novel manuscript BEAN SUMMER was a finalist for Hunger Mountain’s Katherine Patterson Prize. Wendy’s currently at work on a collection of stories, a literary horror novel manuscript, and effectively brushing her dog’s teeth on a semi-regular basis.
7. I love you, wonderful women. Leslie, your half-finished portrait of you and Lindsay as children, your hands thick as paws, one clutching a stick, inspires me. Lindsay holds you tightly to her big-sister bosom, scanning the surroundings for danger. Let’s watch out for each other always.
8. Me too! Here are a few of my spinoffs:
The Sort of (cheap to make) Sidecar
Juice of half an orange, juice of half of a lemon, two-to-three ounces of Prince D’Arignac VS Armagnac ($14.99 at Trader Joe’s, but this guy said it was bad on his blog), and a couple of ice cubes with which to shake or serve as rocks.
The Wendy (Katz)
Juice of one lime*, two ounces of gin, and one ounce of crème de cassis. Serve on the rocks. *Substitute one clementine if you want it extra sweet.
The Park Los Feliz
Juice of one quarter of a lemon, one ounce of limoncello, two ounces of vodka, two ounces of Trader Joe’s low calorie pink lemonade, Shake with ice, and serve up with a twist. Splash with seltzer water (can be plain, berry, lemon, or lime flavored), and swirl with a vintage swizzle stick.
9. You are a pleasant and a generous soul. Or bored. Or avoiding something of great-to-mild importance. Whatever you are, thank you.